


A Little World Within a World

by orphan_account



Series: A Haroline Story [2]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-01
Updated: 2013-06-01
Packaged: 2017-12-13 15:58:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/826104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nothing's real, never real.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Little World Within a World

He knew she would be there. They were both friends with Nick, but there would be enough people there that he could avoid her if he really wanted to. But he didn’t want to. They had stayed in contact and had even seen each other socially a few times since February. But it was now August and he was missing her terribly and if they ended up spending the night together, then so be it.

But when he laid his eyes on her, standing there in her pink micro-mini and her hair perfectly disheveled hair, he knew he wouldn’t be spending the night alone.

He watched as she went to the bar and ordered a drink. He watched as Nick went over and greeted her and pulled her into a hug and whispered in her ear. He watched as they laughed and her eyes squinted shut. He missed hearing her laugh, the way it sounded like a melody he could listen to forever. He stayed in the corner of the bar, keeping his eyes trained on his drink for fear of making eye contact. He didn’t want to make the first move, didn’t want his desperation to be too apparent.

Tulisa came up beside him and put her hand on his shoulder. “She looks good, yeah?”

He swallowed the rest of his drink and nodded at his glass. “Beautiful.”

*****  
He sensed her presence before he felt her tap his back. He turned around and the smile on her face melted his heart. “Hello, sir.” She saluted him and giggled.

“Caroline.” He resisted the urge to hug her and pull her close. It had been so long since they had been in such close proximity to each other. Her scent and the alcohol had his mind spinning.

“How are things? You just got back from the states, yeah?” Her attempt at small talk was endearing, but he couldn’t help battling the overwhelming urge to kiss her.

“You look beautiful.” He wasn’t much in the mood for small talk right now. He smiled as her cheeks pinked.

*****  
He got out of the cab and walked to her door. She’d only left an hour ago, he was sure she was still awake. He knocked three times quickly. She opened the door in a dressing robe and slippers. He forgot how short she was without heels, barely halfway up his chest.

She said nothing as she walked back towards the kitchen, as if she knew he would turn up. He shut the door and heard her call, “Would you like something to drink?”

He followed her and watched as she glided around the room, pulled two cups from the cupboard. He walked up behind her and put his arms around her, rested his head on her shoulder.

“Where have you been staying? Are they going to miss you tonight?” Her voice was barely above a whisper; she didn’t dare risk speaking louder and ruining the moment.

He breathed into her neck. “I’ve missed you.” He mumbled into it. “I’ve missed you so much.”

She turned around and looked up at him. He was exhausted; from the alcohol, from the evening, from the past ten months. She put the cups down and took his hand, led him to the bedroom.

He sat on the bed. She stood in front of him, admiring him. It had been six months and he had become a man. She flitted over his broad shoulders. She slid her hands down his arms, trailing her fingers on the prominent veins on his biceps. He watched her, watched as her eyes took in how much he had changed since the last time.

She took his hands in hers. They had always been bigger, but now he could bend his long slender fingers and completely dwarf hers. He did so, just to prove the point.

She laughed. “When did this all happen?”

“A lot can change in six months.”

She hummed her response as she pulled his shirt over his head. She put her palm flat against his 17BLACK tattoo. His skin was warm, like she remembered.

He held his hands on her hips and rubbed his thumbs over the fabric of her dressing robe. “There are a few other ones.”

She ghosted her lips across his neck. “Yeah. Where?”

“All…over.” He crashed his lips onto hers, done with talking. She sighed into the kiss and wrapped her arms around his neck, snaking her fingers through his hair and scratching at his scalp. She remembered. It was hard not to.

He broke away and looked at her. Looked her in the eyes and tried to stop the clenching in his heart. He knew he would never have her again like before. But if he could pretend, for just one night. She seemed to understand what he was thinking, because she nodded and pinned her forehead to his.

“We can do this. It doesn’t have to be a big thing.” She whispered against his lips.

But he was sure he wanted it to be a big thing. He wanted it to mean something. There had been a handful of people since her, and none of them were exceptional. The connection, the fire, the love wasn’t there. And he knew it could if he wanted it to be, it could be created. But it was instantly there with Caroline; why should he have to work for it with someone else?

She sensed he was in deep thought and made him stop. Gave him time to process this, to sit with these feelings.

He wanted to explain what he was thinking, wanted to explain that every movement was an exhalation of “I still love you, still want you, still need you.” He didn’t know how to explain it in any other way than soft kisses on her neck and shoulders and back.

She locked her fingers with his, squeezing every so often as if to say, “I know.”

*****  
They lay in silence, neither knowing quite what to say. He nuzzled his nose into her neck, her hand coming up and brushing damp curls out of his eyes. She began to close her eyes and he debated whether to stay, to be there when she woke up in the morning. He watched and waited until her breathing evened out.

He had dreams about how this would happen, if it would ever happen. Nights spent alone in hotel rooms, some nights spent with others. He had tried to imagine what the emotions involved would be. He tried to imagine how it would end. But when all he had in the moment was this numbness in his heart, and he knew what he had to do.

He got up, dressed, and left. He knew not to look back at her, because if he did, he would want to find a way to crawl into her heart and mind and soul and stay forever.

And forever never happens, after all.

**Author's Note:**

> The title comes from "Say Goodbye" by Fleetwood Mac.
> 
> I wrote the majority of this while listening to “Landlocked Blues” by Bright Eyes on repeat. Sorry…


End file.
